Hi. It’s midnight and I should’ve slept now but I can’t because I think too much.
I just wanna say.. I hate losing someone.
Losing someone that we love is suck. And if people ask me what is my biggest fear, that’s the answer.
Since my mom died, I can’t focus on anything, I can’t think clearly, and a week after that day I often getting sick and didn’t go to school.
It seems like everything inside of me is living in her heartbeat.
I’m so sad. I’ve never felt this way before, I’ve never felt this very very deep sadness. I know this is wrong and I should let her go but this pain is just too real ‘cause I watched she’s on her last breath with these eyes. I think I’m going mad.
There are so much story to tell . Sadly when I tell her.. I can’t hear her voice back while that’s everything that I need to hear.
I used to pray this too shall pass and He answer my prayer but, I mean, I don’t want this bad ending. And the next day I realize He has a better plan for us. She is in where she need to be now, and I should be happy for that.
I want everything back to normal situation.
I want to see your face, even if it’s only in my dream. Because I miss you everyday.
I hope we meet soon in Heaven
I need strength, I need you here.
And I need to sleep now 'cause Idk how many tears that will come out if I continue to write this post.
